I saw someone's Facebook status earlier about invisible illnesses.
I'd never really thought of my diabetes like that. I guess most people around me know that I am diabetic but to the eyes of the world, I guess I am *normal* (although even then my dad would challenge that comment!). When I inject myself at meals, I usually manage to do it under the table (although I realise that I sometimes do it so automatically that I don't realise that I am holding my needle in the air and this can be somewhat perturbing possibly to other restaurant diners!!).However thanks to my wonderful insulin pen, I mostly can do it in quite a discreet way.
Invisible illnesses have many advantages over visible illnesses. You benefit from the fact that most people do not know you are ill and therefore treat you as *normal*. But then at the same time, they expect you to be 'normal' and do not understand why you can't actually do what you want to do when you want.
In the back of my head, at all times of the day there is that little diabetic automatic pilot that sets off questions like
what time is it? when did you eat last? what did you eat last? when will you eat again? what are you doing? will this activity bring my blood sugars down? did I inject this morning? did I inject enough / too much? how much? am i feeling tired or have I low blood sugars / high blood sugars? etc.
No decision is taken without going through most if not all the above questions. And do you know what?
I'm tired! I'm tired of the brain gymnastics. I want to be able to eat, do exercise, go through the motions without having to think.
Oh well, that's just not going to happen though. I am thankful. I am so thankful that because I have a treatment that works, my illness is invisible. If I had lived 100 years ago - which if you think about it, is only 3-4 generations ago - my illness would have only been visible, a body decaying on the in- and the out-side at a fast pace.
